I was moved to floor seven on Monday July 15th and was there for five days. Although I was better health wise, this was probably the hardest time for me. I was alert and knew what was going on, but physically I was sore and could not do anything for myself. I lost any independence that I had and I had to lose my modesty. I needed help with everything. I knew things would get easier as days went by, so that is what I did. I went day to day knowing things were already better. I knew it would be a journey even after I got the lungs. I didn't epect it to be easy. I got the lungs so there was not much to complain about.
This is going to be written in blocks of time, because this is how I remember it. My mind was a mess through this whole time and I only remember things in chunks. I will do my best to explain myself to everyone and hopefully you will all be able to follow along. If not please feel free to ask me anything.
For me, waiting for the lungs was the excruciating part. I was completely lost when I got the call...sitting on my bed while Jason was running around crazy. Then when I was on the plane I could not sleep because my mind was in so many places. I will admit that I was nervous. I could feel my heart beating (not as hard as when I realized I was getting the calll) and I could not settle down. I wanted these lungs more than anything at the momemnt, but I was sared too. When I was at the hospital it wasn't too bad waiting with Jason, Erika and Puneet, but part of me was still nervous about it. When we were taking pictures in the OR waiting room my nerves were lessening because I wanted them more and more. I was tired of waiting and I was ready to live. I held back tears when I said my goodnights to family before going into the OR, especially my brother. When my family cries, I cry. lol They were all so happy for me, but I know they were scared too. By this time for me though, I was not scared anymore. I waited for this pair of lungs for tweleve hours and I wanted them. I was ready, but looking back I see this was just the start of how hard it was for my family.
This whole transplantation has been surreal to me. Part of me can't believe that this has happened. I know it has, I feel it has, the breathing is amazing but the like I said, it doesn't feel real. This is something that we have been talking about for more than a year now, but I was so use to not being able to breathe that part of me didn't know if it would ever chance.
I am going to go back and try and explain everything from my perspective. Jason did a great job keeping everyone updated on Facebook. He apologized for not using the blog at all, he just found that my facebook page was easier to use on his phone and keep everyone in the loop that way. I am so grateful to him that he did that for me. Yay for social media. haha It helped him out a lot being able to tell everyone what was going on at the same time.